wheeeeeee I can fly!

More like Washington NationaLOLs, ammiright?

Who's hairier, me or Danny Espinosa? The mind boggles.
(go see http://washingtonnationlols.tumblr.com for more Nationals LOLs goodness)

I've Got Beaver Fever!

You should see what I did Selena Gopher.

Cooling Down and Warming Up the Water

If peeing in the pool is cool, consider me Miles Davis.

I'll Take 'Weirdest Things Hobie Has Found Under A Hotel Bed' for $500, Alex

Do I really need to caption this?

My Brilliance Is Blinding

Now someone lead me to the student bookstore, I need to resell these things.

The Dingos Ate Your Dingo

Much like the praying mantis, we eat our own kind.

they'd better bring Five Guys back to Nationals Park

half smokes give me heartburn

That's the Last Time I Hang Out With the Bulldog Down the Hall

I'm in a living, breathing kaleidoscope man... I think he may have dosed me.

Never Challenge A Sphinx To A Staring Contest

Dammit

I am not a couch potato

Believe it or not I do go outside and play... but I only play with my own kind.

Hands Off the Remote

I was watching that.

Did You Know I Was Double Jointed?

...and I owe it all to yoga.

The Snozzberries Taste Like Snozzberries

Yeaaaaahhhhhhhhh

Would you wink at me?

My new match.com profile pic. The previous one of me doing kegstands wasn't getting me anywhere.

More Facts Better Left in the Past

After coming home from the '78 KISS tour, I got a job as a bathhouse attendant. I spearheaded the effort to unionize.

Dog Pack On A Pack Dog

I hate being the butt of a lame joke.

I'm Not Unlike Anyone Else On Twitter

I too post boring, self important drivel half asleep, using grammar and spelling that can only mean I typed with my nose.

We All Have Our Fetishes

<insert Rex Ryan joke here>

Facts Better Left in the Past

I was one of Gene Simmons' stunt tongues on their '78 world tour. A lot to be ashamed of with that one.

Phallic Edifices and the People That Love Them

I've seen bigger.

Those Who Are Born Under Sign of Dog Surrounded By Good Fortune

...in bed.

I'm Never Drinking Again

Hopefully I didn't post anything embarrassing on my blog last night.

I Can Quit Anytime

If you don't lay off my beer, I'll show you Raging Bitch up close and personal

Post Primping

This is just after plucking my eyebrows and whiskers.